The Office Flock

Sparrow needs to rename one variable; it's in 84 files, four autogenerated; the tool is unmaintained, written by someone who left three years ago; Blackbird suggests renaming the ticket instead.

Dove asks what went well; seven seconds of silence, then 'the coffee machine didn't break'; Raven offers to list what went wrong alphabetically or chronologically; action item from last retro was 'stop ignoring action items' — status: ignored.

Dove creates channel for important updates only; Duck posts lunch photos in it; there are now 47 channels, 46 muted; the only active one is #random.

Dove announces replacing half the team with AI; Chicken panics; Duck's AI performance review says everyone exceeds expectations; Blackbird notes AI scheduled a meeting to discuss replacing meetings with AI.

Dove asks how long a task will take; Raven says two weeks, Sparrow says a month, Duck says one day; awkward silence; they agree to say three weeks and tell management two.