The Office Flock

Dove says Microsoft released three AI models and they need their own; Dove wants to train it on the codebase and docs; Raven: 'So it'll be confused, outdated, and passive-aggressive'; Duck trained one on Slack that just says 'sounds good' and never follows up; Sparrow: 'So it learned'; Blackbird: 'Indistinguishable from the team'; Dove: 'Ship it.'

Dove announces HR approved three new headcounts; Sparrow asks if they're engineers; Dove says AI agents, same budget, twice the output; Raven asks if they get equity; Chicken asks who manages them; Duck has already made himself team lead over all three; Blackbird notes Duck has three AI reports and hasn't started a single task; Sparrow: 'Senior leadership material.'

Dove announces their valuation went up 300%; Raven asks if they shipped something; Dove says they added 'AI-powered' to the homepage; Duck put it in his email signature and LinkedIn views tripled; Chicken asks if LinkedIn views are revenue; Blackbird notes valuation is a thousand times revenue; Dove: 'Investors call that potential.'

Dove announces the new AI has a million-token context window; Sparrow says it can read the entire codebase; Duck fed it all 400 repos; it found 2,000 TODOs from 2019 that say 'fix later'; Raven: 'So it works'; Blackbird reveals its summary of the codebase is one word: 'Why'; Dove: 'First honest review we've had.'

Sparrow shares a survey saying CFOs expect AI to replace jobs; Chicken panics; Dove reassures them it's only 'administrative roles'; Raven asks what Sparrow did yesterday; Sparrow lists spreadsheets, emails, and meetings; Raven: 'So... administrative work'; Sparrow thinks about updating LinkedIn.